Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
