I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
