xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
