Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
