And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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