For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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