im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
