yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
