hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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