I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
false alarm. still invincible.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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