I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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