I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
