that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize