if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
