I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
