If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
