Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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