What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize