Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
