...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
