its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
