It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
