My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
