You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
