That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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