Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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