Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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