oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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