i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
