I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
