the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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