You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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