apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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