he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
