What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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