so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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