If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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