Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
