I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Two words: nipple clamps
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