I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
