And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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