Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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