with your own penis?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
