I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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