I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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