I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
