Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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