You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
