I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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