Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
