i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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