oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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