just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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