Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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