i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
