I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
