I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
