OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
