Pappa wants mamma naked
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
