Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize